Olympic day
On Friday, our school had an Olympic Day. It was exciting.
We played javlin. I made the stick out of straws and sellotape. It was really fun. I got the gold medal (actually I didn’t), and Mrs. Goodwin gave me two lollies for a prize.
Then we played The Three Legged race. I got a prize again. But I tripped over OOOOWWHH!
Now, Ms Small announced The Olympic Day is closed. “Awh……’’We sighed.
I had a wonderful Olympic Day!
By Daniel
Hi, Daniel
ReplyDeleteThat is really interesting because you added a lot of detail and telling the events.
You also told us a lot of fun things.
How do you play three legged race and was it interesting?
What I liked about your writing is that you have put alot of good words that describe the activity.
ReplyDeleteWow Daniel. It looks like you've had a brillant day.I was in France (Riley). I was in USA.
ReplyDeleteHi Daniel,
ReplyDeleteYour story sounds like you had a fun day! I like how you put in extra information in your story by using brackets. Next time you could use some more descriptive words and some punctuation like instead of writing I got a prize, You could write I got a prize!
Apart from that, you tried very hard.
From Sarah
Great use of brackets in your story :)
ReplyDelete